I’m learning from looking through egg donor profiles that Columbians are just better looking than the rest of us. Shakira and Sophia Vergara are not outliers. As I click through the different pictures to find out more about these women, inevitably the ones I click on first are the Columbianas.

We have decided to use my sperm to create this baby. We came to this decision because my parents have no biological grandchildren. And all four of my grandparents have no biological great-grandchildren. I’m not entirely sure what the world would be missing out on if it were denied another generation of Smiths and Meekers, but we’d like to find out. The world already has a new generation of Barcenases and ample opportunity for more.

Since we are using white sperm (I mean, sperm from a white person), we want to find a Latina egg. We want our children to look like both of us, as much as possible. I’ve discovered that this process will be considerably easier if/when we use Alberto’s sperm, next time around. There are far more white eggs than brown.

The egg donor coordinator at our IVF clinic explained why. We aren’t the only couple that wants their baby to look like both of them. And there are far more white couples looking for donors and surrogates. This is not because infertility strikes white people more often or that there are fewer ethnic minority and mixed race gay couples that want to have kids. It’s because white people are more likely to be able to afford this treatment. In the case of hetero couples, there are more whites with health insurance that covers infertility (I’m saving the insurance issue for a day that I feel more like going on a rant).

So because of the socioeconomic demographics of the United States, we have a much smaller pool of donors. Ironically, because of those same socioeconomic factors, it’s more likely that donors of non-white backgrounds could use the money. Add in the fact that the eggs in the highest demand come from women who went to or are enrolled in Ivy League colleges, women who will likely make more over their lifetimes than the average donor, and it’s just like any other market – the rich get richer.

But at least God gave us Columbia and made its women fertile.