Last night was the second of our parenting classes, Newborn Connections. The class is in the basement of a hospital in San Francisco. It’s mainly for parents who plan to deliver in the hospital, but we chose to go to a class in San Francisco hoping that we wouldn’t be the only gay parents. We were.

The class was good. Maybe not $95 good, but I’m glad that we chose to take it. When we arrived and I saw the infant-sized dolls on the tables I thought, “Oh Lord… This might suck.” But the props turned out to be a good addition to the class. I discovered I’m pretty good at holding a baby (although I don’t recommend the American Academy of Pediatrics-approved “crotch hold” which sounds like an illegal wrestling move and not something you’d want to use to carry around your baby), but I am terrible at diapering. I’m not sure how it happened, but somehow I got her shirt tucked deep into the diaper. Like, right in harm’s way, so to speak. Then, while attempting to pull the shirt out of the diaper it came loose and slid down her legs, exposing her little butt to the elements.

I will practice more at home. We have a small watermelon that’s approximately the right size. Of course, the melon isn’t wearing a shirt…

The class opened with a discussion of the first moments after birth. Like most articles, books and websites I’ve read recently, this discussion was very mom-focused. For the first hour after birth, the child is supposed to lie on the mother’s bare breasts. Skin to skin contact is supposed to increase the production of helpful hormones and begin the bonding process with the baby.

I’m not sure how this is going to work in our situation. B. is not supposed to bond with the baby, for obvious reasons. Am I going to rip off my shirt and lie down with my daughter in an empty hospital bed? I don’t want her to be deprived of those helpful hormones. But it also might be a little odd if I’m barreling through the hospital, half-naked, carrying a newborn, and looking for a spare bed.

I’m sure there will be plenty of time for bonding, but the emphasis was on that first hour. It’s probably just one of those things that we are going to have to realize we can’t provide for our child. And one of those things that in the scheme of things is less important than what we can provide.